A week after the launching of Indonesia’s Obedient Wives Club, which promotes good sex as a foundation for healthy marriages, I was again stunned with the ‘Mayor marrying 19 years old teenager as his fourth wife’ news.  As I scrolled down and look at the commentary sections from readers, it worries me even more since most of them said that what the Mayor did is a good thing and that no one should criticize, as it doesn’t violate both civil and Islamic law. Sure, all the polygamists are using the holy prophet’s case for justification. Although none of them care enough to mention the fact that the prophet Muhammad remarried only after her first wife passed away. Nor did they point out that the other wives were old maid or widows without protection during the repeated wars. Typical. Additionally, it is said that the Mayor did not breach the law that strictly forbids civil servant from practicing polygamy because he has retired as a civil servant for four months. Well, does that mean he marries two women and one girl all within four months? Or did he once violate the law?  Hmm?

As if having four wives is not enough, the owner of Ayam Bakar Wong Solo restaurants, Puspo Wardoyo took one step forward by broadcasting polygamy (which he practices himself) through his restaurant’s menu. Feeling hungry? Try his polygamy stir-fry (made from 4 main ingredients; broccoli, mushrooms, squid and shrimp) and polygamy juice – a combination of four crushed fruits. Wardoyo claims that his motivation for polygamy was to follow the teaching of Quran that is why he selected his second to fourth wives (age 22, 22, and 24) by a competition for outstanding staff in his restaurants’ chains. Lucky he is that the employee of the month has never been a granny with exceptional cooking skill or a diligent beardy guy. Wardoyo must have been very proud for his appetite that he feels the need to celebrate it by launching a polygamy award ceremony in 2003 and driving a sport car with the number plate 4BINI (4 wives).

Okay, so it is their lives and their business. But I grew up surrounded with ‘knight in shining armor battling the dragon to save his only princess’ tales, Richard Gere in white limousine holding up roses for his pretty woman, or these stories where Harry bumped into Sally over and over again, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan got emails or Mr. Darcy flew all the way to the other side of the world for Bridget.  But most of all, I grew up seeing my parents sitting together in our terrace, having coffee, laughing and talking as if they are each other’s best friends. Or even after 30 years of marriage, when they are away from one another, they’re like two teenagers in love, giggling over the phone. The companion has never been out of fear or obligation. It is always out of love, respect and friendship.

So if a man wants to have two, three or four wives, then it’s his call. A woman is gladly sleeping alone while his beloved man is away with another woman, then so be it. But if I find polygamy as another justification for infidelity and lust, then it is too, my right. For what it’s worth, not once in my life could I ever imagine having a romantic candle light dinner with one, two or three other women.